Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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