Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
