She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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