Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Randomize
