Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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