Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
