Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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