Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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