yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
