my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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