Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
