i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
If i come over, it means nothing
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
