How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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