using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize