So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
