Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
