Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
