WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
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