Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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