walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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