Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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