things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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