**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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