My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
