Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
