then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
