the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
