remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
oh god was she eating orange peels again
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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