On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
