I'm pants shitting drunk right now
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
