What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
