two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
