We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
