Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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