Yo dont text me then not text me
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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