well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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