I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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