He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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