Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
