I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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