I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
In other news, I just burned my penis
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
