there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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