If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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