I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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