If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize