I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I have post one night stand depression
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