i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I love having hate sex.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
