Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
