never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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