My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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