So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
