you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
