We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
