I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
