3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
