Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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