oh god the rape fog is back!
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
