mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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