he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
3pm strippers are depressing
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
