But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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