My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
