I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
