U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
